I was never a Disney kid.
I have some vague & fuzzy memories of watching a handful of the 90s
classics – Lion King, Aladdin, Toy Story & such,
but I wouldn’t say I have a connection to the
brand; I have no children in my life, so I’ve not
seen many of the recent films either. But as a
theme park fan, Disney has an inscrutable allure
so when I booked a trip for my 30th
Birthday (we
January-born enthusiasts ain’t got too many
options) I was cautiously optimistic. Would
Disneyland Paris stand on its own two feet to a
first-time visitor without any brand loyalty? Or
would an over-reliance on IPs I have no
connection to lead to a disappointing experience?
The Theming
I’d like to start with some positives and one huge
positive that might go without saying, considering
Disney’s reputation, is the theming. The castle park is full
of areas that make you want to stop and just drink in.
Every space, from the flooring to the ceilings has been
thought about and plays into the distinct lands that the
Disney imagineers are transporting you to. From the little
touches like the carved wooden camel benches in the
entranceway to Adventureland, to the wholesale
presentation of Discovery land erupting from the floor
from seismic faults – every area of the castle park feels
like a carefully curated tableau. The studios park, not
quite so much (we’ll get to that) but even there, one sees glimpses of a wider vision in specific
areas like Avengers campus or the Hollywood Tower Hotel rising imposingly into the sky.
Most of all, I loved the playful obfuscation of the Castle
itself; hidden from view upon your approach by first the
Disneyland Hotel, then the Main Street Train Station.
When you finally see it for the first time, perfectly framed
by the shopfronts of Main Street, it says “WHAM! THIS is
Disneyland. Look what we’ve made for you” Never before
have I experienced a theme park where the landscape &
architecture plays such a large role in setting the scene.
The Layout
I’ll admit this is nerdy of me, but let me have this,
Disneyland Park’s layout is a logistical masterpiece. The
wheel and spoke design with the Castle at the centre
makes it virtually impossible to get lost. Wherever you are
in the park, the Castle stands as your North Star, providing
you a reliable anchor point to guide yourself around. Am I
facing the castle? Then I’m going towards the centre –
simple, yet breathtakingly effective.
I also loved the entrance portals to each land, leaving
you in no doubt (if the flooring & architectural changes
hadn’t already clued you in) that you are moving to a new
area. My favourites were the imposing fort welcoming you
into Frontierland and entering Fantasyland through the
ground floor of Sleeping Beauty’s castle..
The Food
Your mileage may vary on the value & variety of the food at
Disneyland Paris, but as an adult with no dietary
requirements, I found the food offering to be of a higher
quality & variety than I have come to expect for theme park
fayre. I ate at two quick-service restaurants: Colonel Hathi’s
Outpost Restaurant and Cowboy Cookout Barbecue (we
nicknamed it “The Meat Palace”. In both places I was able to
enjoy a delicious sit down meal with main, side and drink for
under 20 Euros, which considering the quality of the food, I
was more than happy to pay.
For my Birthday Treat meal, my friends and I booked a table
at Captain Jack’s, where we happily spent two hours
enjoying a three course meal of Caribbean delights. Special
shout out to the spiced fish soup starter & the divine pina
colada I washed it down with. Eating here felt like an
attraction itself with the themed lighting, regional cuisine &
ride vehicles passing by adding to an overall package which,
whilst expensive, was an absolute trip highlight for me.
The Walkthrough Attractions
A very quick shout-out whilst I’m still in “The good” section
of this blog must go to the walkthrough attractions. In a park
with visitor numbers as high as Disneyland Paris’ I really
valued the plethora of little walk through attractions we were
able to experience with no queue. The Nautilus, Aladdin’s
Passage, the Alice in Wonderland hedge maze and, OF
COURSE the Dragon sleeping beneath the castle were all
excellent uses of ten minutes that we fit in between rides. In
this, one really felt the aforementioned sense of every design
choice being made with purpose, and adding sneaky
capacity to a park that really needs it to help manage the
number of visitors it attracts.
The Bad
The construction,
I’ll try not to harp on about this because when visiting a park that’s open all year round in the
low season, I fully expected to see some construction & maintenance being done around the
parks. Even with that being said, I wasn’t expecting quite the quantity of construction walling
that I found in the Studios Park in particular. Whereas the journey between any two attractions
in the Castle Park was a pleasant and scenic stroll, a journey between any two major attractions
in Walt Disney Studios was more akin to a morning commute, bustling through the corridors
created by metre after metre of temporary magnolia walls. I’ll happily return to Walt Disney Studios once the expansion opens and it feels like a theme park again, but the current state of
affairs there meant it was a place I came to tick attractions off my list rather than a place to
enjoy spending my time.
The Crowds
I’m a girl who struggles with crowds. I’ve never been to a gig where I didn’t have an assigned
seat, I fear trains operated by Northern and I try my best to avoid theme parks in the school
holidays. I was aware of Disney’s reputation for being busy, so I thought booking a midweek trip
in January would give me the best chance of enjoying it without crowds of people. Folks, let me
tell you, there were still so many crowds of people.
The ride operations were generally good, most major attractions are designed with throughput
in mind and the queue lines are themed, so I almost didn’t notice the crowds once I was in line
for something, but the vast quantities of people just milling about on a Tuesday in late January
boggled my mind. I can’t even countenance the thought of visiting Disney in summer after
seeing what the off-peakiest of off-peak days were like. I’m so glad I went in the low season, not
because it meant the crowd levels were pleasant, but because it made them bearable.
The Coasters
I’m afraid this is the point that might upset people,
but I really didn’t care for any of the operating
coasters at Disneyland Paris or Walt Disney Studios. I
specify operating coasters because Big Thunder
Mountain was closed for planned maintenance
during my trip and I’ve heard it’s a corker, but without
it, I was left with a pick n mix bag of old,
uncomfortable jank.
They weren’t totally without merit, Hyperspace
Mountain & Avenger’s Flight Force started with great
launches and Crush’s Coaster had some nice
themed scenes at the beginning but all 3 soon
regressed to ping-ponging around a warehouse with
occasional screens & light effects. Many older
coasters have places deep within the hearts of guests
who’ve grown up with them, but there wasn’t a single
coaster at either of the parks that I found myself
dashing to have “one more ride” on at the end of the
trip. If you’re the kind of enthusiast who plans their
trips around proliferating their cred count and seeking
out the best thrill rides, I’m afraid there isn’t much to recommend Disneyland Paris at the moment, at least until Big Thunder Mountain Re-opens.
The Magical
Dark rides,
If like me, however, you’re the kind of enthusiast who plans
trips to seek out the best dark rides, oh boy you are in for a treat
at DLP! Crikey on a bicycle are there some wonderful dark rides
at Disneyland Paris.
Phantom Manor was a joy from start to finish and when “playful
spirits” saw us slow to a stop mid-ride, I can honestly say it was
the happiest I’ve ever been to be briefly stuck on an attraction,
such was the quality of the scene we parked in front of. The pre-
show surprised me, the ride system was an absolute people
eater, so we never waited more than ten minutes, and the
soundtrack was eepy and creepy in just the right way to set the
tone for the family-friendly spooks that followed.
Buzz Lightyear’s Laser Blast was the best shooting ride I’ve
been on, Tower of Terror the best drop tower, Ratatouille the best
use of smell, I could go on and on. I’ll admit I’m not the most
widely-travelled enthusiast and I’m sure there are better dark
rides out there, but the number of “best in class” dark rides at
DLP really endeared the place to me, and more than made up for
the lacklustre coaster selection.
I couldn’t end this section without a word about my favourite
ride at Disneyland Paris: Pirates of the Caribbean. This
breathtaking boat ride is pure cinema, effortlessly shifting its
tone from tranquil & foreboding to rambunctious &
swashbuckling with cinematic flair. The ride starts from the queue line, guiding you through a
dimly lit sequence of smuggler’s tunnels into a tropical station that genuinely looks, sounds and
feels like a foreign land. When I was on this ride, my troubles melted away and I was totally immersed in the world it built and the story it told.
Entertainment
I recall a concern, from when I was booking this trip, that 3 days in off-
peak season may be too long
considering the relative scarcity of rides that truly excited me. After all,
one wouldn’t book a 3 day trip to Paulton’s Park or Legoland Windsor. I
had not considered the jewel in Disney’s crown – the shows! Across
my 3 days, I made sure to catch the parade and watched the “Lion King:
Rhythm of the Pride lands” & “Together: A Pixar Musical” shows.
Far more than just an excuse to take the weight off my feet and warm up from the cold, both shows were stupendous, and each a wonderful way to spend a small portion of the day.
I had been a little concerned about the language barrier for the shows, but I felt the mixture of French and English speaking lines was handled with grace and intelligence.
The stories were simple enough to follow with minimal dialogue and the fact that each
character consistently stuck to a single language meant I was reliably able to follow one half of
the conversation and understand the gist once I knew who to listen to. For example, in the Pixar
show, Woody speaks in English and Buzz in French and it works surprisingly well!
The parade was a fun spectacle, but not really my cup of tea.
I think this is something where an affinity for the Disney
characters would enhance one’s experience, but I’m glad I saw
it once and felt like I could “tick off” that particular Disney
experience.
FIREWORKS!
Finally, I must finish by talking about the fireworks show,
though to call the park’s closing spectacular a “Fireworks
Show” is to undersell it! A potent mixture of image projection,
lighting effects, flames, drones and of course fireworks all
combine with some of Disney’s extensive catalogue of
beautiful songs and music to create an experience unlike any
other I’ve had at a theme park. It was more than impressive
enough to take my mind off the crowds all around me and I’m
not ashamed to say that I cried multiple times!
In Summary
I am so glad I took the plunge and finally booked a trip to
Disneyland Paris. What it lacked in re-rideable coasters, it
more than made up for with Dark Rides, theming,
entertainment and atmosphere. Though not a park I’m
champing at the bit to go back to, I will almost certainly return
in a few years’ time once the Studios Park rebrands to
Adventure World so I can experience those new lands.
Thanks for reading if you got this far, I’d love to hear how your
experiences at Disneyland Paris & Walt Disney Studios stack
up against mine!
À bientôt, Keira
